January 2, 2012

The Hunt

Clickity clickity
Tap
Click-click-tap-tap-click
I'm on a very important mission.
The great college search.
Yes, I did this last year, and still didn't end up doing anything,
But this year is, and shall be, different.
This time, I'm,
Wait for it...
Serious.
Of course, it might help if I actually knew what the heck I'm supposed to and/or want to do with myself.
Anyone who's been a reader here long enough knows my penchant for...unsurity.
I totally just invented a new word.
Art.
Music.
Drama.
Musical theater.
Librarian.
Writer.
Historian.
Archivist.
Art Historian.
All of these labels are floating around in my head in a great, big, heaping mess, amid college names, financial information, and fragments of The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll.
I'm a very confused, very overwhelmed individual at the moment.
A year ago, I was thinking more along the lines of this.
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Today (and the past month or so), however, I've been feeling a little more like this.
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Very...historical.
I love history. 
Especially...
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...Colonial American history with a fondness for...
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...The Revolutionary War.
The practical person in me leans much more heavily towards the topic of History, the prospect of being a historian, museum curator, historical librarian (Hello, Library of Congress!), and the like. The non-practical side of me likes the idea enough to heavily over-romanticize it. It has me picturing myself as a protector and guardian of the past, every once in a while jaunting off on an adventure that one might see in a National Treasure film. In reality, it's just a lot of dusty books, long hours spent sitting still, and a great deal of classification.
The practical me immediately starts to search for what one with a History degree could do.
Things like becoming an archivist.
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(Yes, that is very much a picture of the Jedi Archives as seen in Star Wars. Yes, I'm a bit of a nerd. Don't be a hater.)
Other options include Art history, historical art and/or document conservationist, and a list of other things that probably don't sound as interesting to you as it does to me. 
And all the while, in the back of mind, I still have that bit of me that says "What about music?" and "What about drama? What about this?"
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Which is immediately replaced by the recollection that I don't want to be placed in an arena that emphasizes so strongly the human body, and pushes for perfection in physical appearance. To a girl trying to recover from an eating disorder, that feels like walking straight into a trap.
*Sigh*
Anyway, the point is I feel like I'm surrounded by options that all sound nice, but I have no idea if they are what I want to do or should be doing.
I keep praying about it, and I still feel answer-less, although that could be the impractical, over-romanticizing part of me again, expecting it to be written on the wall or revealed to me through a bolt of lightening in the head. 
The only thing that I think could be an indicator so far is how I keep ending up back at the University of Maryland's website as I investigate History majors, and heaven knows I'm probably doing that on purpose.
I really am a gypsy.
Who else out there is wandering through vocations like me?
Anyone doing any college searching?
I hope everyone's New Year was-and still is- fantastic. 
I was lucky enough to be able to dance the night away at a friend's party (held in a barn, complete with an entire professional sound-system and lights. Awesome!), and play hide-and-seek in the local Wal-Mart.
This is Idaho, y'all!
Do any of you have any resolutions?
If I come up with any, I'll be sure to let you know.
*conniving grin*
Cheerio!
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5 comments:

Megan said...

Ooh I adore history! So much fun! I am wanting to be a middle school history and english teacher! I think it would be a blast and I love teaching.
You should think about majoring in the Humanities! That encompasses art, history, english, and even learning about other cultures! It sounds like something you would really be into!
Just a thought!
Praying for all of these big decisions!

Meg

Madison said...

I'm in the same boat as you... sort of. ;) I'm a junior, but I'm trying desperately to figure out what I want to do. A lot of what you had on your list is stuff I either am or have been interested in. I've thought about art history, being an editor, writing books and/or poetry, being a journalist, theater, knitting extraordinaire, etc. lol
Hope you (as well as myself) can figure out what you want to do!

Grace said...

I do too! But do I love enough to want to spend the rest of my life involved in it? I think it would be easier to decide if I could spend some time working in that field. Discover if it's really boring or not. I don't feel like it would be, but then I've never been good at conjecture. A few years ago I decided to be a veterinarian. Not a smart move for Grace.
Madi, I feel like maybe we need to go on a cross-country college tour together. That way we could bail ourselves out of the boat together as well. And it would be scads or fun. :P

Stac said...

You keep searching. . . the Lord will open just the right doors for you. You don't have to settle on just one thing. You can major in history and minor in theater. . .if you so choose. I just know that God has many wonderful things in store for you. I do agree, I don't see your adventures taking place anywhere near Idaho. I can't wait to see where the Lord takes you. You are destined for greatness. I JUST KNOW IT!!!

Haley said...

I know what you mean! I had a hard time deciding and was glad I ended up at a university with lots of different options. You could look into living history, think Williamsburg. My most favorite summer jobs were at living history museums.