This is it.
The big moment.
After a month of struggles and carefully monitored weight gain,
Of being cooped up in a small unit 23/7,
Of working and wearing my mind thin,
Exploring every emotion, every though,
After all that, I've finally reached maintenance phase.
I'm finally putting in for the last level.
As of 10:30, I'll officially be allowed to venture out on the streets of New York City, within a certain block radius of the hospital, for 90 minutes a day.
But the best part is that I can put in meal and leisure passes for anywhere in the city (probably in the state), and explore (Ladies and gentlemen, charge your cameras!), eat, and challenge myself outside of this small unit.
I'm in nervous anticipation, not because I think my request will be denied, but because I am excited to challenge myself and learn how to apply all of what I've learned here to a wider area and outside on my own.
It's not going to be all easy peasy rice and cheesey, but it's going to be good.
Good in a way that includes the struggles, the fear, the happiness, the triumphs, the failures: everything.
"Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye who hope in the Lord."- Psalm 31:24
I'm nervous, but that verse reminds me that I cannot possibly fail.
So that's what I'm doing today, in between art therapy, yoga (bleh), menu planning, discharge planning group, lunch, dinner, and snack: looking forward to the days ahead.
To spending a day with my sister who is going to come down from Boston for some NYC fun.
To being able to eat something besides hospital food (no matter how challenging).
To feeling worried and anxious and learning how to successfully overcome it.
To being able to take pictures of the city, of myself and send them home.
To maybe arranging Skype dates with some friends (and my momma!) back home.
There is so much to look forward to.
What are you anticipating?