October 20, 2011

Anticipation

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This is it.
The big moment.
After a month of struggles and carefully monitored weight gain,
Of being cooped up in a small unit 23/7,
Of working and wearing my mind thin,
Exploring every emotion, every though,
Writing,
Drawing,
Laughing,
Crying:
After all that, I've finally reached maintenance phase.
I'm finally putting in for the last level.
As of 10:30, I'll officially be allowed to venture out on the streets of New York City, within a certain block radius of the hospital, for 90 minutes a day.
But the best part is that I can put in meal and leisure passes for anywhere in the city (probably in the state), and explore (Ladies and gentlemen, charge your cameras!), eat, and challenge myself outside of this small unit.
I'm in nervous anticipation, not because I think my request will be denied, but because I am excited to challenge myself and learn how to apply all of what I've learned here to a wider area and outside on my own.
It's not going to be all easy peasy rice and cheesey, but it's going to be good.
Good in a way that includes the struggles, the fear, the happiness, the triumphs, the failures: everything.
Good.
"Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye who hope in the Lord."- Psalm 31:24
I'm nervous, but that verse reminds me that I cannot possibly fail.
So that's what I'm doing today, in between art therapy, yoga (bleh), menu planning, discharge planning group, lunch, dinner, and snack: looking forward to the days ahead.
To spending a day with my sister who is going to come down from Boston for some NYC fun.
To being able to eat something besides hospital food (no matter how challenging).
To feeling worried and anxious and learning how to successfully overcome it.
To being able to take pictures of the city, of myself and send them home.
To maybe arranging Skype dates with some friends (and my momma!) back home.
There is so much to look forward to.
What are you anticipating?
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11 comments:

Emily Rose said...

I'm anticipating this weekend, it's going to be full of laughter, competition (in a good way)and fun. I'm so happy for you, Grace.:)

Stac said...

Can't wait to see and read about your adventures! Go get em Girl!!! Relish in the advances you've made and how far you've already come. Enjoy all the sights and sounds of the city. This will be a time that you will never forget!

Polka Dot said...

Hooray! Have an amazing time--take lots of pictures. :) Praying that you continue to get stronger!

Mary said...

Yay!! I'm so happy for you, dearest! Enjoy your self and stay strong! I'm still praying for you<3

Cubette said...

i'm anticipating my 18th birthday1 it's gonna be a big day... :S

kimberly said...

Yay, it's great to hear that you are slowly conquering those goals! I hope you have a wonderful time exploring that NYC radius. Visit a nice, cozy coffee shop for me. ;)

Praying for you still! God is so faithful, and everytime I read your blog, I see that in your words.

Lily said...

I'm sososososososoSO happy for you, Grace!!!!!! God is good, huh?

***hugs***

Kaley Grace said...

Aaaack super duper excited for you, GRACE!!!!

This is just awesome. Take it all in, and then give us a little taste of it...pretty please? :-)

God is so GREAT!

Rachel said...

that is AMAZING! wow!!!!!!

take so many pictures...expect another letter coming soon! <3

Anonymous said...

Grace, I know you are so ready for this phase. Not just because you are a huge support & motivation for everyone in the group but because you clearly have the level of self awareness needed to make this decision. It's time to explore NYC!!
M..... :)

Grace said...

Thank you all! I can't wait to take pictures!! I finally bought my own camera right as I came here, so I'm excited to use it. Hopefully I'll take it out later for some snaps.
Cubette: 18 is a definitely a number worth looking forward to. I'm kind of jealous because I was so preoccuppied with how I was going to skip dinner and avoid eating the cupcakes I made for mine to actually enjoy my birthday. Congratulations, by the way!!
Kimberly, Kaley Grace: I'm definitely stopping by a cozy coffee shop (or two) for all of us, and I promise to have pictures up here eventually!! Thank you all for the prayers!! <3