This is photograph of what my day has been like.
Gold-lined, lackadaisical, earl-grey, Saturday perfection.
Woke up early, read my Bible, wandered the farmer's market with my mother, spent an hour at my local yarn shop, knitting steadily and happily away, followed by a walk home (interrupted by a stop to get more farm-fresh produce), a wonderful afternoon of reading, baking, tea, prayer, and more knitting.
But I've saved the best part for last.
Let me first thank all of you who have been praying so hard for me, because I have some fantastic news:
Today was one big giant success.
Not just in what I did, didn't do, how I slept, etc.
I overcame Vanity over and over today.
What started out as a simple "What time I am afraid I will trust in thee" kind of early morning has turned into a jubilant "By thine strength have I leapt over an wall" day. I not only ate actual food, but enjoyed it. I had all of my meals, and stuck my tongue out at Vanity, so to speak, at each and every one.
I made pumpkin scones for tomorrow's potluck at church, and had one with my afternoon spot of Earl Grey tea.
And the best part?
I didn't regret a single thing.
I've noticed, the past few days, this feeling of having overcome something.
Ever since Monday when I made the tart and found myself asking Vanity "Why not?" and receiving no answer...well, I've been working off of that all week. Today I was finally able to make the leap from questioning why to demanding that she shut up and leave.
I can't even describe the elation I feel as I look over the day and the successes therein, other than none of this has happened by my strength.
Indeed, every bit of effort, every ounce of strength, ever tiny bit of success came from and is entirely because of God's strength.
Every time Vanity whispered hateful lies into my ears, I closed my eyes and repeated scripture to drown out the noise.
Every time she used fear as a tool against me, I said "In thee, oh Lord, do I put my trust..."
I am a long way from recovered, but for the first time I feel like I've stepped out onto the road to recovery.
A narrow path, but an even narrower path I've already been called to walk in my life: the path that leads to Christ.
I love how God made my day so golden, so lovely, simply through my giving everything over to Him and trusting, not being afraid. It's almost as if He knew I would need all of the joy I could get because of the difficulty of the task at hand. And the joy of the Lord is my strength, after all!
So thank you all for your patient and unending prayers and support: it may seem a small thing, this victory, but a huge flash of hope and life it is to me none-the-less.
On another note, the farmer's market was fun, per usual, although decidedly more like a craft fair. That's the problem with living somewhere like Meridian: the rest of the populace doesn't seem to understand the true meaning of things like farmer's markets. However, I am increasingly confident that God is going to lead me somewhere someday where there are actual vegetables, fresh milk, and hand-knit blankets all being sold at the farmer's market, and not just Michi bags, hand-made jewelry, and Tupperware stands (Maybe I'll be selling some of those blankets or vegetables myself!).
And I can't even begin to describe how lovely was my stay at the yarn shop. There's nothing like being nestled at a large, oak table, drinking red rooibos chai tea and knitting with a couple other similarly fiber-obsessed women, the heavenly scents of wool and alpaca mingling around your head.
Ah, it was pure perfection.
Perfection followed by a pot of Earl Grey tea, a small pumpkin and cranberry scone, and more knitting (whilst watching Holiday Inn, of course).
These simple, small bits and pieces of the day are truly, I believe, gifts from God.
Gifts of peace that He places in our lives to remind us that He is there, to give us a chance to praise Him.
And praise Him I did (and am)!
He is so good to me, so marvelous a King and Father!
I am thankful that His strength is perfected in my utter weakness.
What was your Saturday like?