Long, hard, stressful weekend.
Did you know finding a residential facility that offers either financial support or takes medicaid is nearly impossible to find?
Wait: that's a lie.
It is impossible.
Wait: that was another lie.
"With God, all things are possible."
Now that's truth.
And I have found a place that I adore and love with all of my heart.
They do offer some financial aid, and are very very small, and quiet, and everything I yearn for in a place of healing.
It's called Selah House.
Selah is a Hebrew musical term: it means a pause, or comma in the song.
Which is exactly what I feel I need.
The only problems so far have been that when I phoned in on Friday (after a long, frustrating, fruitless search), the admissions woman wasn't in.
Also, they are very small (eight women at a time), so getting in would take a miracle.
But you know what?
My God is a God of miracles.
I so strongly want to go here and heal; not just to get better myself, but because more and more I am feeling the Lord turning me in a new direction.
I feel that maybe He has given me this challenge in my life, so that I may overcome it and be able to help others like me.
If there's one thing I've noticed throughout this whole process, it's been the "holes in the system."
Things and needs that aren't being met or provided.
Truly God-based therapy, for one thing. Selah House is Christian based, but still relatively "open" as to their terminology and definition.
However, it would be a place where I could learn to overcome these battles with and using the Lord. I would be allowed, encouraged, instructed in how God can help me, how to run to Him.
That is what I desire above all else.
I am going to call in tomorrow and start the application process, which brings me to my request:
Please, please, please; if ever you were praying for me or wanted to, get on your knees now and ask for God's hand in this. I so desire to go here, anywhere really, to be healed, and I think He has pointed me to this place for a reason. My pastor informed me that there is a strong church nearby, that I might be allowed off-site to attend. Little things like this have made me hope beyond hope that God is going to provide a place for me here, and soon.
But it needs prayer.
As I go through this coming week, please pray that an opening will become available, but more importantly that I will follow God's leading here. I don't want to go somewhere I like when it's not what God wants.
So please pray.
In the mean time, I am trying to stay sane and get myself to eat.
I am clinging to Christ with every ounce of strength and willpower I have, and I hope that I can come through this victorious with Him, and be able to help others facing the same trials.
Thank you all.