May 30, 2011

Grajumication

Hooray!
It's done!
I've graduated! 
...
!!!
(Y'know it's kind of ironic how this all hits and sinks in two days after it actually happened, whereas on Saturday I was engaged in a constant battle to stay awake and alert). 
Saturday was a long, long day- aproximately 8:00 AM to somewhere after midnight- and full of so much activity. Friday probably wasn't the best night to have trouble sleeping but, looking back, if I had been as awake and alert as I should have been on Saturday, things would have been way more stressful, and the likelihood of my messing up/tripping/spacing out would have been an almost guarantee. As it is, I was in a state of semi-glazed zombie-mode, and thus things went smoothly and easily. 
The thing I remember most is being absolutely freezing, then eating a slice of cheese pizza at lunch and promptly wanting to go take a long nap somewhere.
The ladies who ran the thing probably wouldn't like to hear me say that most of the information they gave us during the day and rehearsal went straight in one ear and out the other, but hey: I didn't mess up, so I guess it no longer matters! 
In the end, the ceremony went very smoothly, the only (hilarious) miscommunication being between our MC (Senator McGee) and the coordinator (Mrs. Richter) over who would ask people to rise and sit. So all that practice of sitting and rising "as a unit" was tossed completely down the drain as we were taken by surprise and found ourselves popping up and down at odd intervals. 
But I'm pretty sure the only person who cared about that was Mrs. Richter.
(Probably the only person who noticed, too). 
Here are some pics of the graduation ceremony, as taken by my wonderful friends Mr. and Mrs. Wong.

*
*

Brianne! She looked so cute in her hat and robe; the rest of us just came across as ugly blue penguins.
*
*
*
*

I was in the front row, which required extra stillness and trying to look especially pleasant. It didn't really work, I think, but apparently I remembered to smile at least once.
*
*

On my way to accept my diploma. 
I didn't trip. 
*smug grin*
*
*
*
*
*
*

I love my family. I look so...normal...here. Proof that I really wasn't feeling 100% awake and myself.
*
*
Afterwards, Brianne and I shared a graduation party at her house. 
It wasn't until the coffee I downed upon arriving that I realized how tired I had truly been, and what all had occurred. It was a fantastic time, and there was just enough food for everyone, with really no leftovers to speak of: perfectly planned, I must say!
Mrs. Long (Brianne's lovely mother) was a wonderful hostess, and was kind enough to get both Brianne and myself our own cakes. 
*
*
*
*
In the end, I'm surprised at how quickly it all flew by, and also at my new outlook. 
It went from being "something silly" on Friday, to "an incredible day of my life" on Saturday night. 
The many gifts and congratulations have been so fantastic- I am an extraordinarily blessed girl, and I have teared up more than once this weekend as I've come to see how richly. 
My favorite part of all this would have to be the cards I received. 
(No, not the ones with money. Actually, those were a surprise to me. Up until a month ago I had no idea that people gave you money and gifts on graduation. I sent invites out to my friends, relatives, and anyone else I thought would like to know I was graduating, and back came money and gift-cards. I was so bewildered! My mother is still laughing at me). 
No, my favorite cards have been the ones full of encouragement, and kind words; the ones that told me I am being prayed for, and given with a list of Bible passages to look up.
These cards have been so encouraging to me, and have provided so much hope for the future, that I am no longer afraid at anything to come, as unexpected as it may be. 
I am leaning on the Everlasting Arms, and they will never let me fall. 
Thank you everyone who has helped me make it this far! Especially to my mother, who decided to home school me in the first place, and thus was the chief influence and greatest sculptor of who I am. I love her tons and am incredibly indebted to her. 
*
Now it's time for Summer!
I want to pause for a moment here and reflect on the meaning of this holiday- in memory of all of our troops both fallen and fighting. My brother-in-law and many almost-brothers are in the armed forces, fighting to preserve our freedom and protect the nation God started so long ago. We are so blessed to have men and women willing to go to the front lines ready to give their lives for us. It's an incredible thing they do, and we so easily forget about them. 
*
*
Now I'm off to go get some blank newsprint, come home (five miles of walking: I can't believe how much morning trekking high school kept me from participating in!), and make a mask for a friend. And then, to stretch the limits of Vanity a little further(who has been a real pill this weekend, what with all the snacking and fun that's been going on), may end up having a peanut butter milkshake or smoothie. Depends on if Shake n' Take Burgers down the road is open or not, or if I have to make it myself with Greek Yoghurt and my own peanut butter. 
What are your plans for the day?
Love to you all!
Cheerio!

May 27, 2011





Hooray! I'm linking up with Jocee of Cupcake Dictionaries today for her blog party!! She has reached 100 followers, and we're having a party to celebrate! Head on over and link up with her! She's so much fun, and as The Cupcake Queen, I approve of her blog completely. 
Now. 
For the fun stuff!
*

  • What would your dream summer vacation be?
    Probably going around the world for a "first-hand" tour. None of this guided stuff. I'd have a native of each area taking me to the best spots, the greatest hidden secrets, the deepest jungle treks, and the most beautiful mountain hikes. Of course, I'd spend the longest time in Ireland. At a farm house. Helping out with the everyday tours and "drudgery", and probably deciding that I'm never going to leave. *sigh*
    (In case you didn't know, it's been my life-long dream to live in Ireland). 
  • After a rainstorm, what you think of when you see the sun peeking out from the clouds?
    Most of the time: "Nooooo, come back rain!!"
    Other times: "We have found where the waters flow and a ray of promise can cheat the pensive gloom. What felicity in the world can compare to this?" (Followed by me feeling all poetical and instead of enjoying the sun, going inside and hunting for my copy of Hartley Coleridge's poems).
  • If you were stranded on a desert island with the sun streaming down on you and had ONE palm tree for shade, you can only have three things with you; what would they be?
    My Bible, a jar of peanut butter, and my knitting bag (which is so deep and full of the oddest items, it makes Mary Poppins' carpetbag look like a kiddy-pool with a handful of water toys in it).
  • Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry or neopolitan?
    I'm a vanilla gal, but it depends entirely on whether or not I've got peanut butter to swirl in.
  • If you saw your celebrity crush walking down the beach with a surfboard, what would you do?
    My celebrity crushes happen to be either long deceased, very old, or extremely British, so I'd either:
    a). Faint. It's not every day you see William Shakespeare on a beach, much less carrying a surfboard (or even knowing what surfboard is).
    b). Wince. I love Stephen Fry and Michael Cain and all, but in swimsuit? With a surfboard? Ew. 
    c). Laugh at them. Honestly, you have to admit most Brits are rather pale, un-Californian-Beach types. Matthew McFadyen especially. 
  • If you went back in time for a day, what era would you go back to, and why?
    I'd be with The Doctor, so I wouldn't have to choose. And I favor Revolutionary America, and Victorian England because the history of the time absolutely fascinates me. I used to like the sound of the Medieval/Renaissance, but everyone was oppressed, lived in muck, smelled funny, had no teeth, and died excruciatingly young 
  • What's your favorite thing about waking up on a summer morning?
    I liked Lauren's answer, which was the birds a-singing outside of my window; but I also love the way the sun looks coming through the window, looking forward to the glorious freedom the day holds, and getting to spend my first moments awake in Prayer with God.
  • Your soundtrack or theme song(s) for the summer:
    I don't like Sheryl Crow at all, but I always find myself turning on "Soak Up The Sun" and putting it on repeat during the Summer. Also Love Lost and Sweet Disposition by Temper Trap, The Drifter And The Gypsy by Rosi Golan, White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes, the entire Our Endless Numbered Days album by Iron & Wine, Phoenix's first album, Hannah by Freelance Whales, Trust by The Generationals, and the Summer Tapes album by Trae Miller.
  • Say you went to California to visit family. What's the first thing you would buy?
    I do this often, actually. And it's usually a beverage (i.e. Starbucks or bottled tea) because I'm in a car, on a road trip.
  • Manicure, pedicure, or facial?
    None of the above? What? I have to choose? Okay, manicure. Blech.
  • What's your favorite color combination?
    Turquoise and brown. I also like pink/yellow/green/orange and blue/green a lot. 
  • If you were at the beach and you wanted to write a message in the sand, what would you write?
    "Do I Dare Disturb The Universe?"
  • You're stuck in Paris with $10,000. What do you do?
    You call that "stuck"!? Go to Laduree and buy at least one peanut butter flavored macaron (probably end up with a lot of other things, though), and then I'd take the rest, find and follow random people, and play the "secret philanthropist" game by cleverly hiding it for them to find and wonder how it appeared. 
    I think I've seen Amelie too many times.
  • What's your most favorite type of summer weather?
    A good, steady, middle warmth, with a nice light breeze that comes through just when you need it. Nothing oppressing.
  • Blowing bubbles while taking a bubble bath?
    DUH!
  • Cupcakes or dictionaries?
    Cupcakes. Without a doubt. *Waves cupcake wand*
    *
    I wish I had time for more, but right now I'm hard-pressed time wise to finish in time all the things I need to complete before tomorrow. 
    What's that?
    "What happens tomorrow?" you say?
    You don't know?
    (You probably already do, but I'm going to say it again anyway).
    I'm graduating! 
    *
    *
    If you're in Idaho at around 3:30 tomorrow, head on over to the NNU campus to see me off! Also maybe to see whether or not I trip and fall. It's quite likely I will.
    I'm also a little worried because for the past day or so I haven't been able to see my list of followers. Can you see it? It seems to be hiding from me. 
    *sad sigh*
    Anywho, cheerio all my luvlies, and don't forget to linnk up too!

May 26, 2011

An Insatiable Case of Carpe Diem

Morning

Sunrise
Open my eyes

And I can tell it's gonna be a good day

I can tell it's gonna be a good day

Did you sleep well?

Did you dream at all?
Can you tell me the time
On the alarm clock?

I can tell it's gonna be a good day

I can tell it's gonna be a good day

but you can sleep in

You just keep dreamin'
For us

I can tell it's gonna be a good day
*
"This is the day that the Lord hath made; I will rejoice and be glad in it"-  Psalm 118:24
*
Good morning and good day all of you lovely lovelies! 
It's a bee-oo-ti-ful morning here in Meridian Idaho, and I am somewhere between working on my high school transcript and preparing for a neighborhood stroll.
It's going to be a marvelous day.
 It rained and stormed and thundered all night, and I was almost certain that we would wake to find it dark and wet today, but lo and behold! Sunshine! I awoke with eager anticipation to read my Bible and greet the day.
And greet the day I shall! Today marks the last day I will work as a high-schooler (not that this means much- I don't think things will be any different when I go to work next week as a "graduate", but it's a fun excuse to feel special). 
I am determined to remain cheerful, no matter what awaits me at work. No matter how many people I have to seat, or how crazy or busy we get. I am a firm believer that a work day will go only as well as your attitude lets it. If you're feeling gloomy and testy, your workday- the people you meet, the way you react to circumstances- will be testy and gloomy as well. However, "a merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance": that is, if you're truly happy, then it will rub off on other people, and change how you look at the stress placed before you. 
I can feel Vanity trying to get the better of me already: she pushed and pulled all throughout breakfast.
She tried to sway my mind and choices ("Mom's not here: you can eat less than that!" "I can't believe you're going to actually even consider digesting that- do you know how fattening granola is? And peanut butter?!" "Ugh, you disgust me!" "If you turn into a pig, it's all your fault!" "Listen to me, Grace. The doctor doesn't care about how you look- she could care less if you turn into a blimp. She'd probably call it healthy." "Isn't this difficult? Is it really necessary for you to fight me? Remember when you didn't? Life was so much easier! Listen to me now, and you won't have to struggle. No effort! No stress! I'll make you great! Things can be easy again!"). These are just a few of the many things that go tickling down my inner ear and make everything hard. I've been obeying and heeding her voice without my knowing it for so long, that I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself every second now that I do. She leads me to obsess over my eating and now even my exercise. Poor Prudence (the good half of my brain) has been neglected and seldom heard for who knows how long. She's already shy as it is, so I'm hard pressed to even remember her, much less stand up for her cause.
However, Vanity is not me. I am battling myself, yes, but I am not the real enemy here. I am battling Vanity and that portion of me she has enlisted in her army. But you want to hear something fabulous?
My army's bigger.
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. Casting down imaginations and every high thing which exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."- 2 Corinthians 10: 3-5
These verses are the most encouraging words I have ever- or will ever- hear. They send Vanity packing, and in a handful of minutes I am able to feel strong in the Lord, and happy, and I suddenly have every desire to seize the day. I am not Vanity, and she is not me. I've begun to see that Vanity is the popular one, the head of the cool crowd, with whom everyone hangs out or wants to know. Prudence is the quiet, shy, good girl. But I get that feeling that, while everyone hangs out with Vanity, she really doesn't have any friends, and that everyone really likes Prudence, but are afraid of being her friend because she's not cool enough.
I never did like the cool crowd.
So here is my declaration that I will now be happy, seize the day, and rejoice in all the Christ has given me! I sincerely hope that you are willing and able to do the same!
Also, the discovery of the day is that peanut butter granola is not only delicious, but is absolutely dreamy with fresh strawberries, milk, and and a mug of green chai tea. 
Yum-o! 
Cheerio!

May 25, 2011

Wandering On A Wednesday

Good morning again!
Three blog posts-one a day- in a row! I'm on a roll here!
(More like "I've graduated high school and have nothing to do with my mornings, nor will I for the entire Summer, so look forward to hearing from me a lot.")
I was planning on writing thank-you notes in reply to the latest of my unanswered graduation cards, but just discovered I am clean out of stationary! (I've been writing a lot of thank-you's.)
So before I know it, I'm loafing around in computer land.
And not long after that I find myself entering the familiar waters of Etsy, in all it's addicting glory.
Am I the only person who finds herself spending hours and hours on there, just browsing through the pretty-pretties? I sometimes wonder at my spectacular self-control. It must be spectacular, since I hardly buy things on there at all, and heaven only knows how sorely and often I am tempted to. 
Today, however, my browsings and wanderings have taken me quickly past Etsy and into the blog-world. 
More specifically, finding fun new blogs to be all excited over and to fall in love with.
I love the people you meet and the friends you make through blogs.
It's always so exciting to me to see how people's individual personalities can be shown across something so simple as a blog. Everything from the page style to the pictures to especially the words.
Words are so powerful.
Anyway, back on subject.
Here are some of the fun articles and ideas I've stumbled across today.

This blog, and the blogger's art, is fantastic. I'm loving the Alice In Wonderland pictures she is working on. So very talented! However, what I'm really interested in is her recipe for these homemade Oreo cookies, which she claims are better than the store-bought kind. I really want to make these!
*
*

These are so beautiful! My tea intake may be restricted, but I love teacups too, and maybe if I try focusing my obsessive, tea-withdrawal energy on making a million of these, I might feel better. 
*
*

Not sure what to call this or how to say it in a way both delicate and grammatically correct, but THIS IS SIMPLY THE DARN-TOOTIN' CUTEST BLOG EVER!!!
Yeah, that about covers it.
*
*

This is kind of brilliant. Although I'm not a huge Reese's fan (I like real peanut butter, not sugary fakey-fake peanut butter), and I don't like candy, the fact that there's a peanut butter substance going on here makes it more attractive. 
I still wouldn't eat them.
But I would love to make them!
*
*
Well that's the cutest things I've come across so far today. 
I can feel reality and responsibility gaining hold again, reminding me that I could make more stationary or, if all else fails, go and work on my high school transcript. 
*sigh*
Reality always chooses the worst moments to interrupt my reverie. 
How is your day so far (are you even awake enough yet to know)?
Do you have any cute crafts or blogs that are a must-see? 
Let me know!
Cheerio, chaps and chappesses!

May 24, 2011

Room With A View

You Know Summer's Coming When:
The sun wakes you up in the morning.
You find yourself happier to get out of bed than you can ever remember.
When you do your Sun Salutations you actually feel like embracing the sun (Don't do it though; that would hurt).
You start putting on a layer of sunscreen every morning.
Fresh fruit and veggie stands start popping up on the side of the road.
The flyers in the local supermarket boast of things like summer camps and weekend farmer's markets. 
You are facing finals in school.
You find more reasons to go outside.
You start thinking about camping trips and hiking outings.
You begin to crave ice-cold lemonade or a snow cone.
You want to barbecue for dinner.
The grass seems more inviting and comfortable than the park bench.
You have to shop for new t-shirts and get this year's bathing suit.
You can't stop smiling. 
*
All of these are things that I've been noticing or doing for the past several days or weeks.
I'm so very excited for the activities of this week.
Ironically enough, graduation day (Saturday) isn't really the first thing I think of- it's the preparations, and the busyness, and the time with friends, and the plethora of school-free activities that are presenting themselves that I'm excited for. I care less about Saturday afternoon as I do about that morning and the evening. I care less about walking the aisle and receiving my diploma as I do dancing back up it and how tickled I am at the idea of not being able to see the darkened crowd before me from my center-stage seat.
It has been a journey, but wearing a blue robe and dorky hat during a ceremony seems to have very little to do with where one ends and where one begins. To me, it seems more about how I handle it than what I do with it. "Are you excited for your graduation?" people ask. I can't say that I am. I'm much more excited about what I will do with my graduation, where God will lead me.
(I hope He leads me to some cupcakes and a never-emptying mug of tea.)
*
 *
*
*
Oh! 
I did take pictures of my new cupcakey decor! 
I do love it- especially the little stand.
*
 *
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Those last two shots are me playing around with the cool morning lighting that happened to be hitting the items I keep in the cupcake dish. The bottom one- my two favorite rings that I wear daily- is my favorite. 
Admittedly I did steal the idea for hanging earrings off of a cake tray from Miss Indie, but I don't think she'll mind. 
Also, I'm really not entirely sure what I'm going to do with that large tray, but I really did like it, and at $4, it was too good a deal to pass up. I'm enjoying the mental image currently running through my mind. It's an image that involves carrying breakfast (a bowl of cereal topped with fresh fruit, a mug of tea, and whatever else I'm told to eat) on the tray up to my room, and taking breakfast in bed while reading some delicious book. Really, Jane Austen is great on lazy Saturday mornings, but, then again, there's little that can rival Arthur Conan Doyle on a lackadaisical morning either (and occasionally this leads to some Agatha Christie afterwards. What can I say? I have no self-control!)
Speaking of breakfast in bed, I thought, as I was taking pictures, I might as well snap some of the new bedding set that I got a few weeks ago. 
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Isn't it purty? I went from being a blue and green gal to being surrounded by orange, yellow, green, and...pink? I actually like it. Mostly because one of the quilt square pattern designs have cherry blossoms on them. 
I'm proud of that little corner shelf, by the way- I put that up there all by myself. I know, I'm being silly, but there was a lot of measuring, leveling, and hammering involved, and it's perfectly straight. You'd be proud too.
Also, I never like the way my paintings look in pictures. The top one is especially awkward looking, and always comes across much shinier, discolored, and off-kilter than it is in real life. I guess that must be the nature of oil paints when viewed through the lens of a cheap point-and-shoot camera.
 *Sigh*
Welp, I'm off to go a-tromping around our neighborhood for a bit, which I hope will be followed by some yoga stretches and a mug of Tazo Vanilla Rooibos.
(No, I'm not going to cheat and drink tea- I went ahead and bought the new Tazo Vanilla Rooibos concentrate yesterday in an effort to be able to drink tea and follow the rules. Like their chai concentrate, it is sweetened and meant to have milk added, so I will at least be getting calories while "filling up". But also, like their chai, it might be kind of nasty too. I don't care for Tazo's chai concentrate, but I do usually get their vanilla rooibos loose-leaf tea as my "normal" drink whenever I'm at Starbucks. This will just be a tea latte, I guess. See how low I'm willing to go in an effort to have tea?!)
Who knows: with the weather looking the way it is, I may have to forgo the mug and make it iced. 
Do you have any plans for the day?
What about for the week- any graduations coming up you plan to attend?
Cheerio ladies and gents!

May 23, 2011

The Fray

Today 
has been a struggle.
I've been up since 5:45 AM to grocery shop, drive around town, and make mischief. But in the back of my mind I've felt like I've had a whole herd of small gerbils with sharp teeth nibbling away at my nerves, ripping out the hems, destroying the lining;
fraying fraying fraying. 
I walked around for a while, and got home to find the house as chaotic and noisy as (or could it possibly be more so?) than usual. 
Fraying fraying fraying.
Drove up to Hobby Lobby with my mother and poked through the newly marked down clearance items, which included the cupcake themed decor and goodies that I fell in love with back in March. I was able to score some of my favorite things at a phenomenal price (pictures will be posted later), and I can't wait to get them all set up and arranged. 
Walked home and was dive-bombed by small blackbirds on a couple of occasions. Not going into the whole back story that is the basis for my fear of larger birds of prey, but that fear might now include little birds too. Birds really shouldn't nest right by a public-used sidewalk that borders a busy street and then attack anyone who is walking innocently by. Maybe they just enjoy driving teenage girls into oncoming traffic as they dive-bomb and otherwise threaten with their sharp beaks and claws. I think I nearly had a heart attack.
Fraying fraying fraying. 
All I really want to do is sit down with a cup of tea and knit for a few hours. 
But I can't!
Of all the new rules and regulations that I'm to follow, Vanity is the one almost always being thwarted. But this tea restriction is the one thing that Prudence (my non-evil half) has felt the deprivation of as well.
I've gone from drinking about a gallon of tea a day, to only being allowed to have it with meals. 
And oh boy, do I miss it! 
I feel like I'm drying up! 
Tea withdrawal!
Don't you just want to dive into these pictures? 
*
 *
*
 *
*
 *
*
 *
*
 *
*
 *
*
 *
To be honest, I care less about diving into the pictures as I do jumping back out again with the liquid beverages being served therein. 
*sigh*
So after manically cleaning and scrubbing portions of the house in an effort to relieve my tea-deprived mind, I finally decided that I couldn't take it anymore.
"Lovely-Lady-Nutritionist can go sit on a tack!" thought I.
So I went downstairs, took the smallest mug I could manage (about 10 oz.) and brewed myself a wonderful cup of decaf green mint tea.
So you see? I followed the rules (kinda)- I drank a smaller amount so it wouldn't fill me up, and I made sure it was decaf as well, that way Vanity can't win by making me think I've got more in me than I actually have. 
And oh heavens to Murgatroyd, did it feel so gooood.
In that bit of tea and few moments knitting, I've regained some ground.
But what really did the trick was this verse:
"Casting all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you."- I Peter 5:7
That verse has already brought me so much peace these last few days. 
And I cling to His promise that He will continue to give me peace always, so long as I walk in Him and with Him.
So Vanity can go sit on a tack (I'm removing that sentence from Lovely-Lady-Nutritionist and placing on the true culprit here- my own mind).
...
Also, is this picture not absolutely adorable?!
*
*
I want one!

May 20, 2011

A Note To All Who Have Been Expressing Their Worries About My Health

For what it's worth, I've spent the last several days debating whether or not I should do a post on this subject, but decided to wait until this morning, after my appointment with the nutrionist, to see how I felt about it.
Of course, I now am feeling more confused than ever, which is hardly productive, but I feel that, as there have been many people expressing concern about me lately, that I should at the very least let everyone know what is going on. 
I've been experiencing some health difficulties and various problems the last several months or so, but most notable has been my rapid weight loss. Over a year ago, this weight loss was being done by careful planning and design, with the goal of simply being healthier and stopping at a decent point. However, since reaching that point, I've fallen into a downward spiral, inexplicably shedding pounds without even meaning to, among experiencing some other health problems. 
After visiting the doctor twice and finally, this morning, meeting with a nutrionist (both of who are very nice ladies: honestly, for someone who dislikes doctors as much as I do, I really lucked out!) we've been able to put a finger on just what's wrong with me, and how to fix it. 
I have been diagnosed with a form of anorexia. 
Now, before your train of thought chugs any farther down this track, I need you to focus for just a second and read this again.
A form of anorexia.
Yes, there's more than one type of anorexia. 
You probably have some mental image of an emaciated girl, refusing to eat, skipping meals, and living on as few calories as she can possibly manage, and all with the express intent and desire of being as skinny and model-like as possible. 
This is not so with me.
The form of anorexia I am facing is much different. 
I am not trying to be skinny: I repeat, I do not want to lose weight, nor have I ever wanted to be this thin
In fact, my weight loss and the number on the scale is something that frightens me, and I have begun to feel helpless as I've watched myself get smaller and smaller seemingly by the day. 
The form of anorexia I am experiencing is on a subconscious, unintended level. Two different halves of my brain: the side that's telling me "Sure, I can eat that, and I will" is not connecting nor communicating with the side that's saying "Wowy, that's a lot of food; I'm only eating a couple of bites!!" thus causing me to eat far less than I should, thus causing me to shrink. It has also been putting strain on my heart and causing different parts of me to function properly (including circulation: it would seem this would account for my random cold spells and the fact that of late I've felt like I've got cold in my very bones).
The ironic part is that I honestly thought I was getting enough food, and have even been making efforts to consume more. It's also ironic that the food I've been eating has been, nutritionally, both excellent and good choices (no junk food going on here!)- there just hasn't been enough of it, and they haven't been high enough in calories. Also, the worst part of our meeting came when she pointed to the nutrition log I've been keeping, and told me that I need to significantly limit the amount of tea I drink each day.
She's probably a coffee person.
So Lovely-Lady-Nutritionist is designing ways for me to sneak around the wrong, evil half of my brain (the super-villain wearing the lycra catsuit- she probably just has had low self-esteem since Timmy in the eighth grade laughed at her for having dimples or something silly like that- that's sending me coded messages to only eat little bits) by hiding extra calories, and take baby steps towards uniting both halves of my mind (the other half being the carefree, innocent, gypsy-civilian that thinks it's in control of the situation, and sending me non-coded messages that tell me I'm doing fine) .
So.
That's just about the gist of it, and I know it's a lot of random information you probably didn't want or need, but it leads me to say this.
1. If you are a teenage girl and you are worried about your weight, body image, etc, DON'T. I still believe (despite how I look) that being this thin is wrong- and it is. You should be healthy. When I was losing weight to be healthy, I thought I had control of the situation. I didn't. See a doctor and find out where you are, and only mess with your body if you absolutely need to (not if you think you'd like to lose ten pounds), and have a qualified person showing you how and making sure you stop at whatever extent you should. This is so very, very important. The media that surrounds us as teenage girls is so full of poisonous lies, all of which the wrong halves of our brains (I'm calling her "vanity") will cling to if we let her. God has instructed us to both honor our vessels that he's given us, abstain from the ways of the world, and to not focus too much on matters of the bodily appearance. I gave myself an inch on this last point, and ended up taking it two hundred miles. What a mistake!
2. Please please please do not become overly worried for me. The situation is under control: that is, God is in control, and Nutrionist-Lady is helping me to fix things. She is adamant that you all not try and force me to eat, because that is not the way to sneak around Evil-Half-"Vanity", and could ruin any progress we make. Please do not poke, prod, or otherwise inquire as to what I'm doing, whether I'm eating, and anything else that could cause too much focus or stress in this area. The idea is to eventually be able to ignore it completely.  Instead, please please pray that these baby steps can be taken quickly, and we can go more by leaps and bounds. Also pray for my self control, because I know that Vanity is going to cop and attitude, and this is going to take a long time, no matter how I look at it. 
Thank you to all who have expressed concern in the past: it's not only been good to know you guys are worried, but it helped us to investigate with all the more hastey-speed. 
As most of this kind of ruined my day, I've decided to "screw my courage to the sticking place" (as Lady Macbeth would say, and the "sticking place" that comes to mind is The Cross), and get on with life.
Hopefully, and by God's grace, everything will begin to sort itself out soon.
Cheerio!

May 19, 2011

Rings N' Things

Good morning, bloggers!
I'm up early after a great morning devotion 
(and a breakfast of hot tea, cereal, cold milk, and fresh strawberries: the key to happiness, I tell ya!)
and ecstatic to to discover that it is indeed sunny again, I have completed high school, and...
I'm kind of bored. 
Not really.
I've already found a list of things to do to keep me busy: knitting, reading, cleaning house, making my mum smile, baking, shenanigans, walking, blogging, and work are at the top of the list. 
However, I have great things to look forward to for the rest of the week.
Today: work and hopefully browsing through the Meridian Urban Market this evening.
Tomorrow: Finally seeing the nutritionist- the next step in figuring out why I'm vanishing before my eyes and not working properly- to continue the elimination process, talk about what I'm putting in my mouth, and draw more blood (goody goody). 
Saturday: A morning of work followed by...
My (almost) sister's wedding! 
*throws confetti* 
My good friend Rachael- practically a sister- is being wedded to her One True Love on Saturday, at 2:00, and I am so excited to be able to attend. I love weddings, and have felt particularly sad about them of late because I had to miss a good friend's just a few weeks ago (place tickets are currently outside the college-savings budget). I almost had to miss Rachael's, but I was able to get my coworker to cover for me Saturday afternoon. Here are some Ben and Rachael's engagement pictures. 
*
 *
*
 *
*
 *
*
 *
*
 *
*
*
It's pretty safe to assume they are one of the cutest couples every. Rachael is one of the sweetest people I know, and more than deserves the happiness that comes from wedded bliss. Ben however (that goof-ball), I'm not so sure about. I'll have to wait and decide if he deserves her. *winky-wink*
*sigh*
Don't you just adore weddings?
I can't imagine a happier occasion than that of a marriage. 
I find whimsical and unique weddings the most delightful. 
For instance, my friend Elizabeth (whose wedding I had to miss) had a complete DIY wedding: and it was probably the most elegantly simple and green-chic wedding I've ever seen. She used pages from old books to create these beautiful rosettes, did the garter herself out of hemp macramé, placed mini artichokes at the table settings, and bought a beautiful handmade wedding dress on Etsy, to name just a few things. I really wish I could have been there for it, but the seeing the pictures made it a little better.
Still, I'm absolutely utterly excited to be going to Rachael's wedding! 
I'm given to understand that the bridesmaids will be carrying wind-chimes instead of flowers- an idea I find absolutely charming, and very "Rachael".
(Just so you know, Rachael is one of the most talented artists, and crafty/imaginative people I know of.)
So, I will charge the camera, and snap plenty of pictures. In the meantime, I need to figure out what I want to wear, and go do some laundry.
Have you ever been to a wedding that had some great unique touches? 
What's your favorite wedding memory? 
(I would have to say the wedding I attended last July tops all- the ceremony was beautiful, and the reception fantastic. The dancing was so much fun!)
Cheerio, all my bloggity-bloggers!