April 16, 2011

50 Stamps or "Why Do Envelopes Have To Taste So Yucky, Anyway?"

I am graduating. 
This is no new news (well, at least to most of you), but it's happening none-the-less.
Thanks to Idaho's large population of homeschooled families, there are many homeschool graduation committees that make it possible for said homeschooled students to participate in a ceremony- cap, gown, and all- and receive a diploma.
They give you most everything you need- a cap, a gown, a tassel, a set of fifty invitations, a yearbook with your picture and the pictures of those also participating. 
Of course, it costs money, although really not too much, and in my case the student's parents aren't paying, the student is (*grimace*), but this is besides the point. 
The point is, I have fifty invitations to send.
That is, fifty name cards to glue in, fifty photos to insert to cards, fifty cards to put into fifty different small envelopes, fifty different small envelopes to direct, fifty small, directed envelopes to enclose in fifty larger envelopes, fifty larger envelopes to address and put return addresses on, fifty stamps to buy, and fifty stamps to put on the fifty larger-now addressed- envelopes.
Then (here's the worst part), there's fifty yucky seals on fifty envelopes to lick and close. 
Fifty long, gross strips of disgusting, vile, spit-activated glue, that I have to put my tongue on.
Did I mention how yucky it is?
How grody it tastes?
Whose idea was this, anyway? 
I think the people who invented the envelopes used for weddings and graduations- the ones included in kits that are sent to you for you to put together- take a malicious glee in not making the included envelopes peel-n-stick. 
I mean, is it really that hard?
I'm not the first person to have thought of this, am I?
No, instead I have the taste of that glue lingering in my mouth. 
The same taste that won't go away after a vigorous brushing, flossing, and mouth-wash-gargling.
The same taste that will probably be coating the inside of my mouth come tomorrow, when I wake up.
This stuff is worse than garlic breath!
I tell 'ya!
On another note, I had my first, real blonde moment today.
While I was sitting at the table, licking miserably away at these envelopes, my distaste plainly visible on my face, my younger sibling happened to saunter by and ask- if it was so gross- why I didn't just get a wet rag and wipe it across the envelope instead.


Lauren said...

Ha!! I was going to comment "That's when you get a wet sponge and do it!", and then I saw your blonde moment, and had to laugh out loud. But hey, I've got just as much a chance of forgetting that option as well, so no worries ;) That's totally something I would do, haha :)

Polka Dot said...

I know, seriously. I've always thought that if they insist on having you lick them, they should taste like chocolate or something. Although they would mess that up and it would be even worse. :P Plus, I always cut my tongue. XP Peel and stick is a beautiful thing. But the wet sponge is super handy.

KatySue Pillsbury said...

Haha, as I was reading this a very simaliar experience of mine was going through my head. I was going to give you the wet rag tip as my Mom gave it to me after I'd licked 35 envelopes, but I guess your sibling beat me to it! =)
Congrats on graduating!

Grace said...

It was an uncomfortable experience (says my taste buds and cut-up tongue). Needless to say, I was only three envelopes or so away from finishing by the time my sibling sauntered past. :P

Emily Rose said...

Ha ha, I was going to suggest using warm water to wet those 50 envelopes.:) I like the idea of peel and stick a lot better though. Congratulations on your graduation!

Christina said...

The entire time I was reading this I was thinking "wash cloth..", then I saw the end :)